
Just like fashion has changed over the years from shoulder pads that make any linebacker jealous to pleather pants to Lululemon activewear acceptable to wear to the office, the love my husband and I share and the way we demonstrate it on Valentine's Day have evolved.
Before Marriage
In the good old days, neither I nor my beau enjoyed extra cash. Nonetheless, I eagerly anticipated Valentine's Day, which went something like this:
a slightly wilted bouquet from the grocery store
a mushy card
chocolates from a big-box retailer
a noisy dinner at a chain restaurant
the latest blockbuster movie

After Marriage, Before Children
Despite the fact that we were a dual wage-earning couple on our way to becoming a power couple, I encouraged hubby to spend our money on experiences rather than flowers or jewelry—flowers die, and how many diamonds does a woman really need? Our disposable income allowed us to live it up a little on Cupid's special day. Our special day looked something like this:
a passionate card professing our undying love
chocolates from a confectionery shop, like See's Candy
a romantic dinner at a trendy restaurant where we'd have to make reservations three weeks ahead of time and wait at least an hour past our reservation time to be seated
since dinner took so long, we'd miss the movie
After Children
Children sucked all the "power" from our power couple status. Add childcare and other expenses related to offspring on top of our decision for me to work part-time, and poof, our disposable income disappeared in a puff of smoke. But we still celebrated our day of love, just a little more budget-minded:
cards depicting frazzled couples with kids
back to chocolates from a big-box store
a hectic dinner at a kid-friendly restaurant
straight home after dinner to put the kiddos to bed, so we could cuddle until we conked out on the couch from exhaustion

Now During Retirement
As empty nesters, we enjoy a bit of disposable income and time. Since our love story more closely resembles a rom-com than an epic love story, we'll choose to celebrate with simple pleasures. Our sweetest day will look something like this:
We'll exchange the same cards we gave each other fifteen years ago. Their condition may show a little wear, but the humorous sentiments still make us chuckle. A good sense of humor is key to longevity in a marriage.
During the day, I'll drive through Dairy Queen and purchase a Choco Brownie Xtreme Blizzard—Jay's favorite—and he'll present me with some delectable chocolates. He'll pretend he forgot that I dislike anything coffee-flavored and be forced to eat the few mocha treats included.
While we appreciate fine dining as much as the next couple, we'll pass on the overpriced, overcrowded restaurants, and arrive at Chipotle by five to beat the Valentine's Day rush. Who needs a candlelit dinner when you can enjoy a limited-time-only brisket burrito bowl? However, Burrito Bandito would be our dining destination if one of their locations were within driving distance. Their carne asada burrito bowl tantalizes the tastebuds.
We'll snuggle on the sofa with a bowl of Skinny Pop popcorn while we watch an episode of Gold Rush for Jay and Fire Country for me.
With the national average Valentine's Day spending registering at $180 per person, our measly $30 each falls well below. If someone had told my twenty-year-old self that I'd spend my fortieth Valentine's Day with my husband this frugally, I'd have dismissed them as crazy.
As I've matured, my outlook on true love has grown—like now, nothing is sexier than a man who helps with the dishes. Together, we've experienced richer and poorer, endured good times and bad, and when marriage got tough, we consciously chose to work harder to save it. We're in this for the long haul, until death do us part. Come to think of it, our marriage qualifies as an epic love story after all—something along the lines of Beauty and the Beast.
Love After Loss
For those of you facing Valentine's Day alone due to the loss of a loved one, I am truly sorry for your pain. Words provide little comfort to ease your suffering, yet I find solace in the prose of Alfred Tennyson, "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." While the absence of your loved one creates an empty space in your heart, I hope you feel the warmth of their love surrounding you, and that it brings you strength to navigate this difficult time. May God wrap you in His embrace and help you celebrate the love you shared.
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I hope these Valentine's Day musings brought a smile to your face and made your day just a little brighter. If you'd like to read more of my blogs, join my monthly email list by clicking the "Join Now" button and providing your name and email address.
Angela L Gold is the author of The Lion Within and Kill Shot.